


under my skin

by haipollai



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: 2016 World Cup of Hockey, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Established Relationship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-31
Updated: 2016-12-31
Packaged: 2018-09-13 18:04:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,808
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9135319
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/haipollai/pseuds/haipollai
Summary: He doesn’t expect to feel as stretched as he does. The Olympics weren’t this bad though maybe that’s because they were relatively close together throughout it. Not like this. At least Nicky gets to be in Washington. Alex stares down at the locker room floor, knowing that underneath the Russian eagle is the Pittsburgh penguin.He’s played in a lot of arenas over the years, but there’s something about being here right now that makes his skin crawl. Maybe because Nicky is so far away.





	

**Author's Note:**

> you can take the soulmate trope from my cold dead hands

He doesn’t expect to feel as stretched as he does. The Olympics weren’t this bad though maybe that’s because they were relatively pretty close together throughout it. Not like this. At least Nicky gets to be in Washington. Alex stares down at the locker room floor, knowing that underneath the Russian eagle is the Pittsburgh penguin.

He’s played in a lot of arenas over the years, but there’s something about being here right now that makes his skin crawl. Maybe because Nicky is so far away.

Kuzy’s been hovering, even after the line change. Alex has torn between being grateful and wanting to slam a door in the kid’s face. He cares though, that’s all it is. He can hear Nicky’s voice in his head repeating that. If he closes his eyes and relaxes he can even picture the entire conversation, Nicky’s soft placating smile, hiding how amused he truly is by the entire situation while Alex paces.

_He’s a kid, Sasha. He loves you._

_Stop teasing, you adopted Burt._

He rubs at his head. Tomorrow they'll both be in Toronto and hopefully the headache will fade then. Scoring felt good. He felt a little bit better after that. 

They're just finishing up in Pittsburgh which will definitely make him feel better. He's sick of questions about Crosby and the Cup and everything about this city. 

Someone knocks on his hotel door and he reluctantly gets up to answer. Kuzy is there, frowning hard and Alex doesn't even need to ask to know somehow this is Nicky’s fault. So he steps aside to let him in. 

“He said you're lonely and giving him a headache,” Kuzy says with a shrug. 

“You have to learn, Nicky is a big liar,” he says but he does feel better with someone there. It's likely just the distraction. He gestures to the bed, inviting him to sit down and tosses the room service menu at him. They end up watching repeats of Law and Order dubbed in French and eating fries until it's time for team dinner. 

\--

It's usually predictable if two people will bond. Short temporary bonds can form easily between people who get along well and have spent a lot time together. Friends, family, teammates. They're not as intense and it can only take a few weeks apart for them to dissipate painlessly.

Alex had a weak bond with Sergei until the accident. It was at least weak enough he didn't feel anything. 

Permanent bonds, the ones the media likes to call soul mates, those can snap in place in a second and if they break it's agonizing. Sometimes fatal. 

They didn't bond at the draft, no matter what some people like to speculate. If they had it would have been impossible for Nicky to go back to Sweden, but that’s not a good love story.

It wasn't even the second meeting, when Alex crashed Nicky’s interview. When they were so young, naive maybe. 

It was when they were back in DC, their first goal together. He'd crashed into Nicky there on the ice and it was like when a glow stick is broken. A crack, and then a bright light and he had Nicky in his head. As if he was always supposed to be there. 

-

He texts Nicky his hotel and room number when he gets to Toronto and within a few minutes gets a rush of amusement and warmth back. He wonders how hard Nicky had to work to get that through. They’re in the same city together but wherever he is still isn't close enough to really reach. The sense of stretching isn't as bad as it was only an hour ago but it's not gone. 

It probably won't be until they're in a room together, skin to skin. Until then it's like a scab or an itch that he can't quite reach. 

He finds himself bothering at it even more now that he knows Nicky is at least in the same city. It's distracting and not at all captainly behavior but that's why A’s even exist. They can pick up his slack during team dinner. Alex can feel the other guys glancing at him occasionally, maybe wondering if it’s ok to say anything. Most of the team doesn’t know anything more than that Alex is bonded, even though it’s not a closely guarded secret that it’s Nicky.

The Russian Hockey Federation makes a deliberate point to pretend they don’t know anything at all. Permanent bonds can form between very close friends and be entirely platonic, but no one wants to ask Alex about it so they don’t have to hear the answer. 

If they did that, they’d have to start asking some of the other guys too and they can’t afford to lose their stars.

Of course it’s Malkin who eventually comes over to bother him.

“We have to play against him. Remember that, right?” He states without any attempt to soften it.

Alex glares at him from the corner of his eye. They’re mostly back in a good place, but Alex still has to shove back the desire to punch him. The relief of Nicky being closer has been overshadowed by him not being close enough and it’s making him antsy. He gives Malkin a smile with too many teeth. “I told everyone I'm already planning on checking him.”

Malkin eyes him back before shrugging. “Just don't pass to him.”

“Maybe I will, to see him dangle around your dopey face.” He restrains himself from sticking his tongue out but only just. 

“Idiot.” But he shoves Alex’s shoulder in that way that Alex knows by now means he's satisfied and will let the issue drop. 

“Hey,” he says as he shoves back. “I'm the captain, respect me.”

Malkin scrunches his face up as if he bit into something sour. “Never. I know you too well.”

Alex grins, it comes more naturally this time and wiggles his eyebrows cheesily. In the back of his mind there's a slight tug, like the way a child will pull on your hand to get your attention. Loose but somehow urgent. It's time to finish up here, he has better places to be. 

-

Nicky answers as soon as he calls, his voice warm and familiar. They haven't seen each other since August and have barely had time to speak once training camps began.

They don't talk much now, just exchange hotel information and Nicky promises to be right there. It feels like an eternity waiting for him. Alex is aware of him moving closer, the same way a storm moves across the horizon. His skin itches, trying to remember what it feels like to be so aware of another person again. 

They can't exchange thoughts, Alex isn't sure he even wants that level of intimacy but he can feel what Nicky’s feeling. He knew before even Nicky was fully aware of how bad his hip was because the pain was so out of place for Alex. Just like Nicky knows exactly how much each loss cuts into Alex.

He rummages through his bag, fishing out a puck that he starts throwing around from hand to hand. Physical activity is the best way to distract from the shifting of the bond, a doctor told him that right after the game they connected. Alex has always made sure to have something on hand to play with since then.

It’s not as distracting as usual and he keeps getting sidetracked by trying to figure out how far away Nicky is. And then he just _knows_ Nicky’s in the hotel and Alex can feel the same nervousness he's feeling echoed back at him. 

He has the door to his room open as soon as Nicky steps out from the elevator. 

The relief comes off of Nicky in waves as he closes the final space between them. It catches Alex off guard but in a good way. No one else gets Nicky unguarded. No one else gets to know how intensely Nicky feels things or that he's worse than Alex at guarding what he's feeling even when his facial expression doesn't change. 

Alex beams and bounces slightly on his toes as he finally gets to shut the hotel room door and it’s just them. Nicky twists quickly, getting his arms around Alex before they can even move further into the room. His fingers dig into Alex’s skin and his mouth is against his neck. He’s fairly sure he manages to gasp Nicky’s name out loud, but he can’t say for sure. It all happened so fast that Alex isn’t prepared and can’t even form a thought.

It doesn’t really matter.

Eventually, they let go of each other. Nicky releases his death grip with a sheepish smile. As if Alex would judge. Or even could judge. He hooks his fingers in the belt loops of Nicky’s jeans and pulls him right back to him. 

“Miss you.”

Nicky easily melts back into him, his hair falling into his face. “Missed you too.” His eyes slip half closed, his lips curling up into a soft smile. Alex leans forward to kiss him.

“You have to be back?” He asks, biting lightly at Nicky’s lower lip. 

“Hour or two.” 

Alex skips replying to push him back towards the bed.

-

It doesn’t replace talking. It sometimes makes the arguments worse, knowing when the barbs hit their target. Alex learns that even in his second language, Nicky can be wicked but he also learns that Nicky can be fragile. It’s so easy, especially at first, to find the weak spots and dig.

It’s different than the fuzzy connection he had with Sergei or with Semin. Nicky is part of him in a way they never were and sometimes Alex holds his tongue because he doesn’t want to feel the hurt himself. Except some things need to be said or they fester as something they both can feel.

Trying to keep from hurting Nicky makes Alex’s English better than any tutor ever could.

-

His skin has stopped itching by the time Nicky is on top of him, he’s settled when Nicky starts moving, riding him slowly at first but neither have quite reasserted the lines between you and me enough to keep things slow. Alex starts to jerk his hips up in counterpoint to Nicky. Nicky’s mouth drops open in a silent moan and Alex can feel in that split second when Nicky’s caught off guard, not expecting the movement.

They don’t last long but Alex doesn’t bother wasting time to be ashamed. They’ve been together too long for that crap. Nicky echoes back his contentment, his eyes closed, hands resting loosely on Alex’s stomach. 

“You be ok to play?” Alex asks out loud.

“Going to kick your ass,” he says with a lazy smile. He finally moves, stretching up slowly before settling down next to Alex, an arm over his chest. Tucked against him as if he was designed to be there. 

“Oh yes? We see.” He twists around so he’s face to face with Nicky and can curl his hand around his cheek and press his thumb to his lips. “Happy you came.”

“Still going to kick your ass,” Nicky smirks even as he’s leaning forward, batting away Alex’s hand to kiss him. “But I’ll kiss it better later.”

He huffs and presses Nicky into the bed. “We will see, yes?”

-

It surprised him early on, the way Nicky seemed to be a constant whirlwind in the back of his mind. It was never betrayed on his face, or that's what Alex thought until he started looking closer. He realized the bond was like a cheat sheet to understanding Nicklas Backstrom.

When everyone else was stone walled, Alex had ended up with the secret key needed to barrel his way past all of his shells to Nicky himself. 

Once he did that, he learned Nicky had been studying him in return and had found Alex behind all of his masks as well. It didn’t feel as frightening as Alex expected.

He kissed Nicky first, kissed his pleased smile and covered his eyes with his hands so Nicky had to stop looking at everything for a few moments.

-

It doesn't hurt when Nicky leaves. Not in the same way it hurt to be separated for so long. It’s now more of an annoyance at only getting to be together for such a short time. He takes two seconds to be pissed at the whole idea of the World Cup before moving to the untouched bed to get some sleep and be ready for the next day.

He still sneaks away the next day, ostensibly to check out Sweden’s practice but he doesn't see anyone but Nicky. 

He doesn't really know when Nicky became as important as hockey. Not more than, Nicky himself would make sure that didn't happen, but equal. He needs them both.

If he was younger, still twenty and just realizing it, he would panic. Now though, it feels right. Nicky sends him a feeling of contentment and amusement. Alex has to hide his smile behind his hand, knowing how many cameras must be watching him. He doesn't need accusations of preferring Swedish play or wanting Nicky to do better. 

When practice ends, Malkin is already sending him kissy face emojis. The pictures must already be everywhere. Alex sends back ‘jealous?)))))’ while he waits for Nicky to finish in the locker room. 

The guys who come out first smirk knowingly. They don’t need to know or care that Alex and Nicky are bonded, it just looks like a player missing his center. Likely looking for a hookup. Alex can’t remember now if in the haze of the night before he left any hickies on Nicky. Maybe later, before the next game. That’s not a thought for right now though.

Lundqvist makes a show of leaning back into the locker room and yelling something in Swedish. A piece of balled up tape bounces off the door before he can get it closed. 

Finally though, Nicky emerges in jeans and a Team Sweden shirt with Landeskog draped over Nicky’s shoulders. “You better return him in one piece. No cheating.” He frowns dramatically, making a show of it.

Alex puts on his best serious face and rests his hand on his heart. “I swear I would cry a lot if Nicky is hurt.”

Nicky snorts and shrugs off Landeskog. “Come on, Sasha. Don't encourage him.” Landeskog fakes hurt but Nicky says something in rapid Swedish. Alex thinks he hears Duchene’s name but doesn't really care. Nicky is grabbing his arm anyway and pulling him away and that is much more important. 

“I found a place. I want to take you,” Nicky is saying. They only have time really for lunch. There won't be sneaking away from the team hotel tonight. Nicky gets that too. They stop touching only long enough to eat. 

-

They didn't mean to keep it secret exactly. It just happened. The first time someone asked Nicky if that's perhaps why the Caps drafted him, he stood up straighter and the anger echoing into Alex's head gave him a headache. He didn’t need to ask to know Nicky wanted everyone to realize he was here on his own merit, so they simply never said anything.

Eventually some people figured it out, some were told.

It was never a big deal because they just made sense. They were friends before the bond was triggered. They continued to be friends, they just became closer and better at it.

-

His stomach sinks into his feet when they lose. He pushed and tried and he knows already what the articles will all inevitably say the next day. He wants to tear the C off his chest. 

There's no Nicky waiting outside the locker room and Alex isn't sure if he's grateful or not. He doesn't want pity or an apology. Nicky shouldn't feel sorry because Alex couldn't get his team flowing smoothly. 

In his head he can tell Nicky is being really careful, nothing is coming through. 

On the bus back to the hotel he gets a text though. ‘Not your fault.’

Alex rolls his eyes and closes it. He'll look at it again tomorrow but tonight he wants time to mope before they have to drag things back together the semifinals. 

Back in DC, he'd be able to collapse into bed and Nicky could fuck him until he forgets for the night. Here he doesn't have that luxury. 

In some weird way it's almost a relief when Russia loses in the semis. Nothing about this tournament felt right, no one was really in game form and he spent too much time on the bench to feel even remotely satisfied with his own play. Maybe he is too used to America, or being the go to star. 

He can't wait to be back in DC though, in his own bed with Nicky in arms reach. 

He sticks around for the Sweden game, keeping carefully out of the view of the media. It wasn't too hard to arrange a box, not many people in Toronto interested in Sweden vs Europe. 

Kuzy joins him with his wife. It catches Alex slightly off guard, he figured Kuzy was heading straight back to DC. 

“Nicky texted me. Says you're being a sad mess again,” he says to Alex’s suspicious glare. 

It's a relief when Sweden loses as well but it doesn't feel good either. 

-

He wraps himself tight around Nicky as soon as they're back in their home in DC. He lets himself sink into it and into Nicky. 

“I'm sorry,” he finally mumbles. 

“For what?”

“I'm bad partner. Not supportive. You lose too and I not ask you what you need.” He pulls back to look at Nicky, at his messy hair and bemused smile and everything else he can't see. 

“I wasn't the Russian captain,” he says, his voice quiet and firm. “I'm ok.” Alex sticks his tongue out. Nicky is never ok after a loss, Alex doesn’t need to be able to sense Nicky’s emotions to know that. After a second longer of staring, Nicky relents. “I will be ok,” he corrects. Alex can feel how much Nicky hates the admission but loves that Nicky told him. “Stop it,” Nicky grumbles but there’s a small smile on his lips. “Think about something else.”

“Ok, ok.” He tugs on Nicky’s shirt to pull him back against him. “Maybe I need help though. World Cup _just_ happen. Might be hard to think of something else.”

“I hate you.”

“Don’t lie. It’s not nice.” It feels good, _normal_ , to be standing there in the front hall bickering with Nicky. More normal than anything had been for the past month. From the way tension seems to leave Nicky’s shoulder, he knows Nicky feels the same way. “I miss you,” he says softly, stepping into Nicky. 

“Me too.” Nicky presses his forehead against Alex’s. He smiles slowly, his hands starting to work their way up underneath Alex’s shirt. “Missed you a lot.”

Alex can’t resist a smirk. “Did you? Maybe I’m not sure.”

For a second there’s nothing, but Alex can feel Nicky’s mind spinning, plotting something. A split second before Alex can register that Nicky’s spinning thoughts have settled, he’s suddenly spun and pinned to a wall. The impact makes him gasp and Nicky is chasing his parted lips before Alex can catch his breath. Nicky is smirking when he pulls back. “What was that?” 

Alex grabs a handful of Nicky’s hair to pull him back in, bite at his lips until Nicky kisses him hard and all that intensity Nicky likes to keep hidden is focused on him. When the kiss ends, they’re both gasping but Nicky isn’t done yet.

“Do you want to know what I wanted to do after we played each other?” Nicky says it as a question, as if Alex would ever say anything but yes.

He cups Nicky’s cheek and presses a thumb to Nicky’s lower lip, already red and swollen. Now that they’re back home, he doesn’t know how he can stop touching. “Want you to show me.” Nicky turns his head enough to kiss Alex’s palm. And then he’s dropping smoothly to his knees. He mouths words against his stomach and hips that Alex can’t make out so he closes his eyes and focuses on the feelings coming through the bond.

-

When Alex was given the C, Nicky was waiting for him at home and immediately led him upstairs, pinned him down and fucked him. He knew how Alex felt with the weight of the franchise settling firmly on his shoulders, more like a heavy wool coat instead of a crown. It was slow and intense until Alex finally accepted that Nicky would be there for him. 

Alex had never been good at accepting help but Nicky wouldn’t let him do anything else. 

After bad games or rough press, Nicky smoothly took over, letting Alex not be the captain for a little bit.

-

Their bags and most of their clothes are left down in the entrance way. They’ll get cleaned up later when one of them feels like peeling themselves out of bed. Nicky is wrapped around him, like a blanket. Alex takes a few moments, separating himself from Nicky mentally so he can make sure Nicky is ok. He can feel Nicky’s sleepy chuckle. “Stop being nosy,” he mumbles.

“Well I ask, and you don’t answer.” He twists around so they’re face to face.

Nicky rolls his eyes before tucking his head under Alex’s chin. A simple easy shift from Nicky giving to asking for comfort. “I answer, you’re just nosy.”

“Sharing feelings not answer Nicky, have to use your words,” he teases. In retaliation Nicky just pushes amusement and annoyance and warmth at him. It makes Alex laugh and roll them so he’s on top and can press a kiss to Nicky’s neck, scraping his teeth over a bruise he left earlier. “Well then no more kisses.”

“That’s cruel, Sasha!”

“Nope. Have to use words Nicky so can’t get in your way.” Alex beams down at him. Nicky is radiating happyhappy _home_ so strongly, Alex couldn’t pretend to be stern if he even wanted to.

“You can’t resist.” He makes a face up at Alex, lips puckered and eyebrows raised. It’s cheesy and dumb and neither of them are thinking about the World Cup anymore or bad games or future expectations. 

“Oh yes, Burkie face definitely steal my heart.” 

“You just like Swedes.”

Alex shakes his head. “Just this one right here. Sucks being away from him.” Nicky pulls him down, catching Alex slightly off guard. Nicky kisses him, soft and intimate, an arm thrown around Alex’s shoulders to keep him close. Kissing away everything else but them.


End file.
